What Does Your Favorite Spur Order From Whataburger?
Something non-basketball for us to fight about!
It’s of the utmost importance to have a go-to order at your favorite restaurants. Something you can handle ordering when you’re at your worst, something you know you’ll enjoy even in the most indecisive state of mind, or just something that you can be sure won’t feel like a waste of money when you’re done.
Having your Whataburger order is just as Texan as having your BBQ joint or your breakfast taco spot. It’s a point of pride. It’s something you’ll inevitably fight with someone about, whether you’re at a party or beefing with strangers on Twitter.
I’d like to think our Spurs have their go-to Whataburger orders, even if they aren’t from Texas. Today we’ll talk about what those are and why!
Doug McDermott
The order:
Grilled Chicken Sandwich, add avocado
No sides or drink (in-season)
Onion rings and a small chocolate shake (off-season, but no more than once a month)
The reason: I don’t know much about Doug, personally, but he’s from North Dakota and that’s giving me “I’m not into spice” vibes. He’s also giving me “I take care of my body” vibes, hence skipping the sides during the season. He gets a liiiiiiiiittle wild in the off-season though.
Fun fact: He’s going to try the Whatacatch during Lent and it’s going to make him never want to eat fish again.
Josh Primo
The order:
Honey Barbecue Chicken Strip Sandwich
Onion rings
Lemonade
The reason: He’s like 12 years old so he can handle the calories, and his year at Alabama taught him how to truly enjoy a lemonade on a hot day in the South. Onion rings because at that point, you might as well have everything in your meal breaded and fried.
Fun fact: In about six years, Primo is going to miss a nationally-televised game because he, like all of us do, will wake one day soaked in the horror associated with the realization that he can’t eat like that, sleep for just four hours, and still do his job. DNP: Shit Diet.
Derrick White
The order:
Pancake Platter
Hashbrown Sticks
Large coffee and orange juice
The reason: White 100% has the vibes of a person who says things like “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!” without a trace of irony. He means it. He’s too sincere, maybe. He likes his breakfast like he likes his jokes, as Dad as possible.
Fun fact: He has a soft spot for the Whatachick’n Strips but doesn’t feel right ordering them at 6am, his preferred time to visit Whataburger.
Dejounte Murray
The order:
Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit (Jalapeño Cheddar Biscuit Sandwich when available)
Taquito (if he’s extra hungry that morning)
Coffee
The reason: Like White, Dejounte prefers to hit up Whataburger early if he’s going in-season. Unlike White, Murray doesn’t like loading up for breakfast. He’s good with one biscuit sandwich, but he’ll throw on the taquito every now and again.
Fun fact: In the off-season, Murray is known to house a Whatachick’n Strips meal with a strawberry shake, but will claim he’s only picking it up for his daughter.
Keldon Johnson
The order:
Jalapeño and Bacon Whataburger
French fries, spicy ketchup
Milk
The reason: Look, I don’t know why, but I cannot shake the idea that Keldon is the kind of guy who still drinks a glass of milk with his dinner. Unlike many of the other guys, he’s not afraid to mix in some spice to his in-season meal plan. I think he knows he only has a few more years of this in him, so he plans on riding that bull until the bitter end.
Fun fact: He doesn’t realize this, but if Johnson asked, Whataburger would add jalapeños to an A1 Thick & Hearty Burger for him. It would instantly become his new favorite and would shorten his playing career by four years.
Jakob Poeltl
The order:
Triple Meat Whataburger, add avocado (he sometimes adds peppers, only in the off-season)
Grilled cheese
Onion rings1
Iced tea
The reason: Jakob fell in love with onion rings and iced tea when he first moved to the States, and has since become addicted. He puts the grilled cheese sandwich inside of his burger for what he calls “an extra layer of fun.”
Fun fact: Jakob won a chicken strip eating competition at the Utah cafeteria his sophomore year of college. Sadly, the following day left him so gastroenterically2 scarred that he can’t bring himself to try the Whatachick’n Strips at Whataburger.
Extra sides?
Got any ideas for what other players on the roster would order? Send ‘em to me on Twitter or in the comments below! Maybe I’ll publish a follow up later with some of my favorites.
Thanks for reading, please be kind to each other out there.
I’ve never fed a seven-footer, but I’m not sure this is enough. Is anyone reading this seven feet tall? Let me know how stupid this looks, please.
Made this word up in case that wasn’t obvious